Monday, April 13, 2015

Two Meetings

The following story is true.

1. From the point-of-view of Bandit, a precocious Shih Tzu, newly adopted.

People people people!
People looking at me, oh boy!
People people people people!
The nice people put me in their shiny car.
What's this place? Where am I? Where am I?
People? Where am I, people?
Hello? Hello?
Who's that over there?
Is that a stuffed toy for me?
Is that a stuffed toy?
Food. Food. Food.
Stuffed toy thing got up.
Wait, not a toy.
It's a cat.
Hi cat! Hi! Hi! Hi!
Wanna be friends?
Friends? Friends? Friends?
Hi! Hi! Hi!
Why're you looking at me like that?
Cat's hissing.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Dumb cat.
Want to play?
Want to play?
Hey! Hey! Hey!

2. From the point-of-view of Faith, our cat

The subjects again neglected to administer the proper amount of royal pets to my backside. The peasants. We shall have to have words when they return. As usual, my meal this morning was too dry, and my requests for mountain fresh water have been ignored. Again.
Today is a busy day. After a bath behind the royal couch, I plan to sunbathe for two hours. I have considered taking a nap, but might instead take a stroll to the eastern window, where the sun is warmer. The plants will need tending, of course, I haven't bitten them in days.
Where are the subjects? I grow weary of their absence. I certainly did not grant permission for this extended leave from my presence. How dare they ignore me this long? I shall be sure to pay them back during their repose tonight.
Ah, finally. My subjects have returned, no doubt with some tokens of their affection with which they shall shower me. I shall receive them in the western chamber. But, oh, what is that hideous noise they make? It pierces the ears, shattering the calm.
What is that thing?
I do not grant is presence, remove it at once.
You dare approach me? Peasant! Back, before I release my full fury on your tiny carcass. Subjects, I am most displeased. You think this thing will amuse the likes of me.
I think not.